Lost In Reality

I offend forget that your gone;
I try to call you every now & then but by the time I reach the phone I'll remember.
I hear songs play & your the first thing that comes to mind.
Reggae used to excite me now it makes me cry.
I used to always dream of being able to visit Jamaica with you.
But Poppa we were never able to do that. I loved that place because of you.
Now I have abandoned that half of my life because your not here to be apart of it.
Its so crazy I feel like you were here yesterday...
& in actuality you've almost been gone for almost year.
I dont talk to Juice as much now I just think its best that I distance myself..
She doesnt call like she used to & she hardly answers anymore...
Im tired of trying Poppa..But i know she's lonely because you were the only one who she saw & talked to everyday. I dont want her to be alone.
As I sit here & type this Im crying because I know what I need to do but I cant
because its not what I want to do...
I know maybe I am being selfish but I cant take anymore change now.
All I can do is pray for a new beginning, understanding & success.
I know good things fall apart so better things fall together..& im waiting for my better thing..Im ready for whatever it is.
Just everything seems to remind me that your gone because of the way our lives have changed so much. I miss you more than any words could explain. NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE THAT POPPA...love you